Gentle visitors, the cold air has blown into these parts from the frigid Pole, and the sudden chill sent your humble Contributor (shivering, we confess) into the spare closet to select an appropriate sweater vest. Thus, the season is upon us. And, this change is always a blessing: even as we suffer the sorrows of the Fall, we have the consolation of a sweater vest to lift our Spirits and insulate our Internal Organs.
In the past, we have addressed the virtues of sweater vests. Of course, one could fill volumes on the subject. But, today, we are reminded of that famous slogan minted by the British Ministry of Information in 1939:
"KEEP CALM and CARRY ON"
There they were, the poor Brits, on the eve of the second Great War, preparing to face the onslaught of the Luftwaffe , advised, if not commanded, to "keep calm." But how to stay calm under such circumstances? Well, among other measures, every man Jack went straight to his haberdasher, got fit with a sturdy woolen pullover -- with a "V" neck for Victory! -- signed up for King and Country and... well, Bob's your uncle, and the rest -- and the vest -- is History.
Who could have expected that this small, though handsome and eminently practical, vestment could have stemmed the Nazi Blitzkreig? But, there you have it: the humble sweater vest, like Tolkien's fabled mithril, was credited for it's calming influence and stout courage until the War was finally won (with some assist from the Yanks).
This well-woven reputation has borne out over the years. Studies have shown that sweater vests significantly reduce stress and improve productivity in office environments. By "studies," we mean, of course, our own personal studies over many years observing the effect of these smart frocks: on appearance, it defuses even the most tense crisis then leads all forward with poise and confidence. Indeed, we have found no recorded instance -- and can imagine none -- of any untoward event in the presence of vest-wearer.
We should note that no other sweater has these effects. For example, showing up in a cardigan would be, in most cases, less than desirable. This is easy to explain. Cardigans cover the whole arm, indicating it's suitability for low energy tasks, such as slowly strolling through the leaves, meticulously examining a stamp collection, or settling down toddlers a la Mr. Rogers.
Among active adults, however, a cardigan works as a strong sedative, soothing to the point of somnolence when there is still work to be done! By contrast, sweater vests leave the arms free, indicating a workmanlike spirit with a calm core of confidence.
Or, consider the turtleneck -- a disastrous choice! -- a covering likely to arouse only feelings of horror or dismay. True, a mock turtleneck is not as bad: it elicits merely disappointment. Still, some wags wear mocks, as the name suggests, to express a kind of smirking and self-aware irony. But, does this befit a real gentleman? The question, we think, answers itself.
Gentle visitors, in these days as in the past, we live in a cold and confusing world. Against this chill wind, we need the genuine article-- something that brings warmth and sense.
As practical and moral matter, a vest is best.
I was going to ask for a Fair Isle Sweater for Christmas, but now am torn after reading your post...
Posted by: Blue Clinkers | Tuesday, November 14, 2017 at 10:24 PM