Gentle visitors, in light of this feast day of love, we inquired by means of the Internet protocol suite, aided by certain algorithms, and found that there is yet no Litany of St. Valentine.
A litany is nothing but a series of supplications, often invoking saints by titles. Startling that St. Valentine has none, when one considers Valentine's long presence on the roll of saints and the fact that others have their own litanies. For instance, one needn't travel far digitally to find that St. Anthony has his: of course, he is the finder of lost things, but also consoler of the afflicted and defender of innocence, among other titles.
Hence, we have put together a tentative litany for Valentine, understanding that it is a rough draft.
St. Valentine...
Purveyor of Chocolates - Well, you might say, this is, perhaps, both obvious and inapt. Chocolate has always been a solid wooing device -- though, perhaps, now in less favor because of health concerns, diets, etc. Doubtless, though, it is been the entré to many a beautiful relationship. Moreover, one could argue that chocolate offers a foretaste of heaven.
Cultivator of Roses - Naturally. It also helps, litany-wise, that rose growers are "rosarians."
Pledger of Troths - Technically, the lover is the pledger of troth as to the lovee. Valentine, in this regard, might be more properly called the guarantor or surety of pledgers of troth.
Disburser of Dowries - This relates to the legend that Valentine paid the dowries for poor women, who would otherwise be unable to marry. Nowadays, the dowry has fallen into desuetude, which is too bad. It would have been nice to pocket a tidy sum prior to entering into matrimony, rather than debts.
Parson of Paupers - In a similar vein, Valentine was said to have married otherwise destitute lovers or to save a young soldier from shipping to the front line.
Saint of Suitors & Patron of Paramours - Unmistakably. Paramour, here, used in its older sense of a "beloved one" rather than in its illicit connotation. Otherwise, Valentine quickly descends into Valentino.
Provoker of Poetry - Yes, Valentine is a regular verse generator - both the good and the bad -- though, to the lovee, all written in love is fair. An example from Gammer Gurton's Garland from 1784:
The rose is red, the violet's blue,
The honey's sweet, and so are you.
Thou are my love and I am thine;
I drew thee to my Valentine:
The lot was cast and then I drew,
And Fortune said it shou'd be you.
Matchmaker of Fowl - Admittedly, this is a bit obscure, but it relates to Geoffrey Chaucer, who is credited for the earliest references St. Valentine's Day as a special day for lovers, in Parliament of Fowls.
For this was on Seynt Valentynes day,
Whan [when] every bird cometh ther to chese [choose] his make [mate],
Of every kinde, that men thynke may;
And that so huge a noyse gan they make,
That erthe and see, and tree, and every lake
So ful was, that unnethe [hardly] was ther space
For me to stonde, so ful was al the place.
Whence, lovebirds.
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