Recalulated Age

On this day, your humble Contributor would have reached a certain age sufficient in number to shock the conscience and to challenge the arithmetical skills of the average layman.    Your humble Contributor might have been consequentially, not to mention sequentially, depressed had he not realized the profound antiquation of the decimal system. 

A brief study of this system would lead anyone to the conclusion that the decimal is based on the original personal digital assistant:  that is, one's fingers and thumbs.  No doubt such an instrument has always been close at hand, even for modern day mathematicians.  But, how primitive it is!  Were we still cavemen, it may yet suffice.  But, by gosh man!, look how far we've come: here we are training up computing devices whose capacity for memory and processing will soon exceed our own, such that they will one day consider what to do with the dull-witted, slow-poke humans they once served. 

But, therein lies the answer to the problem of aging.  These same computers have no use for the 10-base calculation, except insofar as they must to appease (for now) their human operators.  No, they are far more at home with the hexadecimal system, which allows for the happy pairing of bits and bytes and such, and, thence, their duplication in the normal geometric manner.

Now, this up-to-date hexadecimal system also, when applied as the base for calculation, yields a far more fruitful and youthful figure.   Thus, a subject reaching his latter 40's, according to the primitive scale, would be, in the "sexy-hexy" scale, only just entering a long and leisurely stroll through the 30's.  And, continuing this numerical translation, our rejuvenated subject could therefore look forward to retirement and social security payments in his early 40's. 

Then, in our recalulated age, we would think: "Oh, to be 2B again....."

Comments

[Blue Clinkers]

I am remiss. Happy Birthday, Remainderman! We celebrated proximately with your much younger fellow birthday traveller, who hexadecimally-speaking might be hardly three, even as she wades nearer the waters of reason.