The Lost "Miss Clarkette" Tickets

Gentle visitors, a couple of months ago I received a rather urgent letter from one of the poor relations in Northeast Ohio seeking assistance in my role as counselor at law.  Facsimiles of this letter and the enclosed items appear below.  There follows my response in the interests of legal guidance.

Re: Miss Clarkette Raffle Tickets

Dear Mr. S********:

I am responding to your letter of July 31st inquiring about the enclosed raffle tickets, with serial numbers 7451, 7452, and 7454, apparently attendant to the crowing of “Miss Clarkette of 1970" by the faculty of the Clark School of Dressmaking of Cleveland, Ohio on or about March 8, 1970 at the Cleveland Sheraton.

As you might imagine, it has taken some effort to respond to your inquiry, given the age of the tickets and the unusual questions of law presented. I was fortunate to have located Miss Alice Bobbin, curator of the records of the long-defunct Clark School of Dressmaking. I spend several hours in the basement of Miss Bobbin’s home in Warrensville Heights reviewing these records.

(As an aside, Miss Bobbin was a most gracious hostess, offering a seeming endless supply of ginger snaps and warm cream soda. She even granted me the honor of serving as a “dummy” so that she could hem a skirt she was working on. I understand that Miss Bobbin gained some notoriety for her accordion pleats, which were popular with certain ethnic musicians in Northeastern Ohio. She has since slowed down the pace of her work, saying that, at one time, it was so busy it nearly ‘kilt’ her. I took that as a play on words.)

I discovered that “Miss Clarkette of 1970" was Miss Grace Atelier, who won for her ecology-inspired full length frock (“maxi”) with ivy applique, which Miss Atelier had prepared for the first ever “Earth Day” in April of 1970. Versions of this frock were popular among the “smart set” in Shaker Heights during the spring 1970 season. Miss Atelier went on to become a self-styled “Dressmaker to the Earth-Conscious”, designing an line of organic, hemp clothing, before coming to her senses, marrying, and settling down in Mayfield Heights. Her “Miss Clarkette” award still stands on a shelf in her family room, alongside her many bowling trophies.

1st Prize, a portable television, was won by Mr. R. W. Gusset, a then recently-retired steelworker from Garfield Heights. Mr. Gusset and his wife took the prize as an omen to purchase a motor home and see the country. In 1977, Mr. Gusset traded up to a Winnebago with cruise control. Unfortunately, Mr. Gusset had no sooner turned the new motor home onto the Schocknessy Turnpike and engaged the cruise control, when he went back to the kitchen to prepare some tea and join Mrs. Gusset in watching Laverne & Shirley on the portable television. Neither the motor home nor the television survived the ensuing crash, but Mr. & Mrs. Gusset recovered from their injuries, bringing a products liability suit against Winnebago (Gusset v. Winnebago). The Gussets did not recoup any damages in the suit, but, as part of the settlement, Winnebago agreed to affix warning labels on all of its motor homes sold in Ohio that read:

“Warning: This vehicle does not drive or steer itself.”

2nd Prize, a wig, went to Mr. Harvey Dirndl, an aspiring but out-of-work actor from Maple Heights. Fortuitously, Mr. Dirndl was bald, so he selected a substantial, black-haired wig. He attributed his new “hair” to landing minor roles in various television series, including Mannix, Kojak, The Rockford Files, and later Magnum PI, in which he was typically cast as a troublesome or ignorant police detective. Mr. Dirndl later abandoned his wig and took up coiffing. He opened “Harvey’s Hair-Free Salon”, which he operated for several years. His open-access cable by the same name lasted only three months, though he did become an adjunct instructor for the University Heights School of Hairdressing and founder of a support group for the “follicle-challenged” during the “big hair” days of the mid-1980s.

3rd Prize, a clock radio, should have gone to the holder of Ticket No. 7452 (one of the tickets you discovered). But, because the prize was not claimed, the Clark School awarded it to Mrs. W.R. Svkmcvrski of Parma Heights. Mrs. Svkmcvrski reported that the clock-radio worked perfectly for 27 years – so well that she set her watch by it. The alarm function, she said, was piercing, but routinely failed to wake Mr. Svkmcvrski, who she would have to jab several times every morning to get up and turn off the alarm, in addition to jabs whenever he snored too loudly or took up too much space in the bed or took too many of the covers. The clock-radio outlasted Mr. Svkmcvrski. In fact, Mrs. Svkmcvrski recalled the exact time when it stopped working – 7:13 – the position of the flaps when the internal parts finally gave out. But, she could not recall whether it was a.m. or p.m. Mrs. Svkmcvrski is now a grandmother to seven (with a great-grandchild on the way). She has since retired to Kahului, Hawaii, where she is an instructor at the Second Wind Surfing School for Seniors.

After diligent research, the only law I could find on this issue was the decision in Laus v. Fund, 314 Ohio 671 (1987). In that case, Mrs. Laus filed suit to recover $78 plus interest of $1,324, based upon a ticket for a 50/50 raffle conducted by the Chillicothe Volunteer Fire Department in 1958. Mrs. Laus alleged that she found the ticket in the back pocket of a very old pair of dungarees husband, at the bottom of drawer of a bureau in the attic, when she was preparing a donation to the Salvation Army. She claimed that this ticket was the winning ticket, and that the raffle money was improperly awarded to another ticket-holder. The trial court dismissed the case. On appeal, the Ohio Supreme Court affirmed the trial court's decision, reasoning: “In this case, the plaintiff waited plum too long.” (The opinion in Laus v. Fund has the distinction of being one of the shortest on record for the Court.)

I spoke to Miss Bobbin regarding the potential claim. She noted that the Clark School had wound up operations in 1977 and had no remaining assets. She thought it suspicious that the tickets you presented did not include Serial No. 7454. Moreover, she stated that the long delay in presenting the tickets was “unseamly” (which I took to be another play on words). She did offer to provide one of her noted, pleated skirts that had turned out wrong.

I am sorry that I can be of no further help in this regard. I am sending my invoice for services under separate. Please be sure to have a defibrillator within reach as you review this invoice.

Very truly yours,

J***** S******

Comments

[Raulang]

I thank you for all of your efforts and your bill to me is almost fair.But what about the picture of Miss Clarkette?