Gentle visitors, it has been rumored for some time that your humble Contributor regularly takes his bowl of oats and that this partaking, above all else, accounts for his noted zest and bravado. It is true that, on a Sunday, he might fry a rasher; however, during the week, when he needs every bit of his vim and wit, oats it is to break the fast.
Some find this odd or even outrageous, given the humble grain's reputation as humdrum and, literally, run of the mill. But, these same grumblers would put their faith in a collection of sugar-coated flakes. Even the otherwise sound Dr. Samuel Johnson defined 
oats as "a grain which in England is generally given to horses but in Scotland supports the people". But, this was not news even then: everyone knew not only mares eat oats but does eat oats (and, that little lambs have other dietary preferences). Moreover, Dr. Johnson, who famously traveled among the Scots, probably never savored a fine, oatmeal laden haggis or joined in singing it's praises.
The health benefits of oatmeal have been well documented, but, then again, your humble Contributor believes that an overzealous pursuit of health can, itself, be unhealthful. No, the true, and perhaps least known, benefit of oats is its sustenance of a life of action.
Imagine, for example, a fit and bronzed Mediterranean gentleman, just after taking his morning porridge (dotted with the finest fruits of the Italian vine rendered to raisins) on his villa's terrazzo overlooking the Amalfi Coast, descending to the beach and reclining there, shirtless and cooly shaded, in apparent repose, when, suddenly, an attendant comes, long-corded device in hand, announcing, "Signori, telefono." Our man, retaining his composure at all times, effortlessly takes the receiver and engages in a brief conversation, ending as the unseen communicant on the other line is heard exclaiming, "Presto, Signori! Presto!"
Our man then quickly dons his shirt, tips the attendant, and bounds up the rock-carved stairway, neatly leaping into his Alfa Romeo, firing its ample (if temperamental) pistons, and pealing off toward some new adventure.
Need we say more, gentle Visitors. All this, and regularity too, await you in a heaping, hardy serving of these steel-cut wonders.
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